This story picks up from the previous chapter, and if you’ve not read it yet, I suggest you to head to the Prelude chapter to get some context, otherwise you’d be so clueless as to what I’m yappin’ about here.

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Now the previous chapter was more about what happened before my first year in Uni, and I think there’s enough material to let you see that I desperately needed to change.

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Those events in the Prelude have always been in the back of my mind, and at all the levels of my Undergrad studies, I had always reflected on what had happened, and have gone great lengths to use the past to educate myself on areas that I needed to work on.

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And here, I will reveal to you one of the most important lessons in my 1st year in University…

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See, a thing about me was that I was often the solo player in school…

And often missed out the trending things that my other peers were into back in those days.

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When my other friends were mad addicted to anime, I wasn’t into anime back then…

When my other friends were 5-man group playing DotA, I didn’t have DotA back then…

When my other friends were hanging out, I was busy studying…

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By the time I got hooked to anime, they weren’t as interested anymore…

By the time I got into DotA, they were all busy with their college studies…

By the time I had some really happy stuff to share with friends, well, I think you know the answer…

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Kinda sad now don’t you think XD

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The point being… I missed out quite a lot of social interactions and memories back when I was still in school. My missing those experience could have been the contribution to my painful experience in college, or also an omen that I would continue to be the solo player for a longer while…

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Nonetheless, knowing that I missed out those opportunities in high school and in college already, I decided that I would like to change that, and give myself a fair chance to have a proper student experience in whatever remaining time I had left being a student.

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So I planned to join as many clubs and societies as possible.

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Archery, Robotics, Anime and Manga Society, Japanese Cultural Society, Hapkido…

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Those were some of the clubs that I had registered to be a part of...

Just some of the clubs that I had planned to use to enhance my experience in Uni.

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But guess what actually happened?

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…

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Out of the almost 10 clubs that I had registered, I committed to only 2.

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So much about planning to enhance my experience huh...

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So for the rest of the year, I dedicated my commitment to those 2 clubs, and it was through those 2 clubs that I really started to see the changes that I had already developed in terms of my personal development.

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See, back in The Flat during college, I had this annoying habit of wanting to be involved with all of my friends and Flat Mates, even though we may not be of the same class.

 

My “0 Social Awareness” side didn’t realize that I was being a bother by trying TOO HARD to be part of their daily lives.

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So when I started my 1st year, I as heck didn’t want to repeat the same mistake…

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And hence, my involvement in those 2 clubs also was rather basic: join in as a member, follow the structure of the club activities, make some friends and head back to my room. I didn’t plan to take up roles of responsibilities back then.

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In fact, I already noticed that I was already not as clingy to others, and had somehow developed this sense of independence…

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I no longer was bothered whether we stayed for lunch, stayed for dinner, did the same lab work anymore, or even if we joined the same club and society.

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I no longer tried to force conversations, only spoke to others when the situation was alright to do so, and didn’t bother to pry so much about other people's plans, but some kinder souls did share without my asking in the first place.

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Truth to be told, with less people around me, I felt more at peace, more calm, and more confident…

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And I was rather perplexed about this…

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“Didn’t I wish for more communication skills improvement?”
“Did I not want to make friends again?”
“Did I not want to continue to fix up my bad habits from the past??”

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Turns out, after almost 8 months of watching anime consistently, experiencing all the strong emotions that anime brought out, facing my piano for almost 4 to 5 hours daily, I had developed the key sense that enabled me to continue to be happy and satisfied even without the company of my friends…

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Even if I had no transport to head out during the weekends…

Even if I had no one but me, myself and I during breakfast, lunch and dinner…

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And I dub that sense: “The Sense of Self Acceptance”.

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In simpler terms, it is the sense of

 

“Gratitude”.

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You see, I didn’t realize that much of my pain was simply not knowing how much other things I had with me…

 

Back then, I didn’t realize that I could have been happy with just putting my mind into practicing my exam pieces, listening more to recordings of the piece, and just doing my other work.

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Had I realized that, I would be in an entirely different position today…

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By realizing that I had the things that made me happy, everything else became secondary.

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I didn't need to ask for more.

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And I was very clear what made me happy: Anime and music.

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I would schedule my own Anime watching time, and I would also put in blocks of time to practice my pieces.

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And when I had done those things, I felt more at peace and… happy.

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By doing the things I like the first thing in the morning, I had the motivation to wake up early.

By doing things I like in the evening after classes, I had the discipline to unwind and prepare my self for the next day.

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And because I knew without a shred of doubt that Anime and piano made me happy, I was simply… grateful.

I was grateful that I had time to do all these things, and the fact that I didn’t share my room or toilet with anybody, it gave me the opportunity to conduct my personal activities without bothering anyone else!

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More importantly, I was grateful that my happiness and satisfaction no longer depended on my social interactions, and that I could still practice to be a better person without being desperate to be part of any of my friends’ lives.

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And the best of all, I no longer desired to "force" myself to know if my other friends had fun things to do or not.

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Only when they explicitly invited me to join them would I accept their invitation.

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If not, I was free and happy on my own.

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Managing to do all those things I like, one day after another, month after month, I finally discovered my inner world’s interest, obtained my inner world’s peace, and hence my outer world naturally was a better place…

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And where did I find the most peace in Uni?

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In my cozy single unit accommodation.

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If you haven’t realized it yet, the sense of gratitude is an extremely powerful thing...

 

You would immediately start seeing the world from a different perspective:

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A perspective that would definitely change your way of thinking….

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A perspective that will definitely bring you greater amounts of joy and satisfaction.

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So friends, we’ve come towards the end of Chap 1, and to summarize what was the #1 thing that enabled to go through the tough days in Uni, and also the #1 step that I took to improve my personal development, it all boils down to one thing:

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BEING GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE.

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Now as a parting “gift”, I have a task for ya’ll...

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A challenge so to say...

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I want you to try this: For the next month, think of 7 different items that you are grateful for everyday.

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Meaning: think of different things to be grateful for, and make sure those things don’t repeat. It has to be 7 UNIQUE items every day.

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Try it folks. I can assure you, you will be a different person by the end of the month.

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Alright, that’s it for now~

That’s a lot today, and I really do thank you guys for being here in the Archive reading about my story. Do take your time to read, and I will see you in the next chapter.

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Till then…

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Janee!