ATTENTION: This is a long chapter.
No kidding. Just look at the right scroll bar and you'll see.
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You could skimp through the entire text to reach the conclusion… Though that wouldn’t serve any purpose now would it?
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However, if you’re close to graduating from mandatory education, the story you’ll find here will be enlightening to you…
The Greatest Question of All…
You ever wondered if you could ever know your purpose?
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It’s a bit abstract, but here’s a simpler way to put it:
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If you could do something for the rest of your life, what would you do?
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Back when I was still in Uni, the students within my course were all brilliant students, and there have been countless times I have wondered if I was truly as high performing as they were… or if I could somehow achieve great results in other areas where it’s not related to studies to compensate for my seemingly “not as good” academic results…
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However, it’s easy to be influenced by your environment (Uni) and assume that what you see is all there is, and forget that a greater context exists beyond the little scope of your familiarity (ie you keep studying just to score for exams but ignore other areas of personal development)…
And by the time you graduate, you’ll soon discover that the real world out there ain’t as friendly or as ideal as what you might have imagined it to be.
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So beyond that familiarity circle, there is an important question that you ought to ask yourself and ponder deeply about…
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And the Million Dollar question:
“What is your purpose in life?”
Despite this being the promised ‘final’ chapter, in reality, this chapter is the beginning of “Character Development Arc 2”, the first being in Chapter 1… And YouTube’s got a role in this Chapter…
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You see, YouTube wasn’t something I got in on my own, even though I started my YouTube channel way back in the day when YouTube wasn’t as famous or infamous as it is now… Safe to say my account’s quite a ‘boomer’ lmao (Senchou, you there?)
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“I am, and I’m H**ny!”
But it was thanks to a wise friend who, 4 years ago, gave me the encouragement to start putting out content on YouTube which really gave me some sort of purpose back then…
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And it was through YouTube that you ended up reading the stuff I’ve put up so far.
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But the thing I’m tryin’ to say is, that for 4 long years since I started taking YouTube more seriously, I haven’t been very successful in it …
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You’d expect someone who’s been around for that long to at least have a decent size of subscribers, ay?
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And quite often, I struggled to figure out why I haven’t had much growth for 4 years, and it got me thinking if I had been mistaken about my “purpose”… and somehow there’s an unseen hand that simply held me back from making any breakthroughs…
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Also, throughout my 4 years in Uni, I had been delivering solo piano performances every year for the Uni’s Japanese Cultural Society and the Anime and Manga Society events held on campus, with the exception for my 2nd Year’s performance which was done in an actual concert hall in town for my music institution instead.
Some shots from my phone by friends...
And more professional shots by good friend Jack (left) and KTSZ Studio (right)!
Performing on stage isn’t common for me, hence I always treasured each stage opportunity, and strived to deliver an unforgettable performance…
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And not just be some dude sitting on stage and doing what every other pianists would be able to pull off.
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Well, looking back now, those were the fun days and I did my very best to be as stellar as I could…
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HOWEVER… my channel still wasn’t getting anywhere I wanted it to go…
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And I was rather perplexed onto what could it be that I was still lacking…
So as I pondered on how else I could improve my piano covers and skills, the world took a drastic turn with Covid19, which led to lockdown being announced and life as you know got rather chaotic…
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Covid monster from Ernest Ng's Covid19 comic series! Read it if you haven't! It's amazing!
There were no physical uni lessons, nobody could leave anywhere without permission from local authorities, food supplies were going haywire for a lot of families, and it was a microscopic invasion that literally brought nations to their knees.
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However, if I were to selfishly speak for myself, the lockdown was a period when I thrived the most, and lived the concluding months of my Undergrad life in my cosy single unit campus accommodation….
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Happily, gleefully, and wonderfully fulfilling….
Living quite the “Hikikomori” lifestyle by playing Azur Lane, playing piano, watching anime, working on completing my thesis and submitting a business research paper almost ONE MONTH earlier and only heading out of my room whenever I needed food or supplies, I kinda enjoyed my time back then…
I miss playing Azur Lane...
And the purpose-defining discovery during lockdown?
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I suppose you can guess it already…
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I fell RIGHT into the Hololive rabbit hole…
And have been stuck since then XD
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I had discovered some random clips of some the members before this, but started free falling into it some time in March 2020...
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Aqua, Matsuri and Pekora were among the first VTubers I really got into, thanks to Aqua sniffing herself in an Azur Lane pull, Matsuri being Matsuri with band aids and d*ldos, and Pekora’s seemingly addictive BGM and her arrowed laughs. The other Hololive members soon followed suit, and before I knew it, I was watching their streams and clips everyday during lockdown and not one day seemed mundane…
Source: Shiroemon
Source: Lyger
Source: Miru Shion
Hah, from watching anime to shipping anime waifus, to buying waifu shirts, to rolling for waifus in gacha, to watching anime girls playing games…
Some of my collection on the left, and "anime girls playing games" Pekora and Marine (source) on the right...
Guess I’m considered a degenerate as well huh XD
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Now I’m pretty sure you and I can agree that whoever was into anime before is highly likely to fall into the same rabbit hole…
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But have you really asked yourself why though?
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Asides from the pure entertainment that VTubers or the Hologirls provide, what is the reason that got you hooked to VTubers?
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I can’t say for anyone else, but I for one got hooked because of the entertainment and the interactions between the Holo Members…
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But more than that, the defining reason I realized later on was that I was simply drawn to how well they serve their audiences, and how their audiences love them back…
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You see, to be a prolific and influential online content creator of any sort, it’s important to make content to cater to the majority of one’s audience, and to continuously deliver valuable content.
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And seeing the Holo Members growing so fast in terms of sub counts, deep down, I truly aspire to have that sort of growth for my own channel…
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Watching Pekora’s livestreams and seeing how her community trolls with her, watching Rushia’s streams and seeing her chat spamming her with “Boing boing” every now and then, and even watching the chat flood with comments during Suisei’s singing streams commending how amazing of a singer she is…
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And not to mention the SuperChat floods during birthdays and 3D model reveals and… other seemingly odd reasons kusa
Let it rain! (Taken from here)
It’s amazing to see how their respective communities are so supportive and so receptive to them, and I often imagined how it would feel to have such strong community support…
And in what way was Hololive a purpose defining discovery?
See, my staying with Hololive hasn’t just been for the inevitable laughing fits, but it’s been a period of trying to piece together what I can deliver to society to achieve meaningful success…
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Piano covers? Memes compilation? Translation videos? Fan art?
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Regardless, I wish I could be as good as them in delivering:
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“RELEVANT AND VALUABLE CONTENT”.
Not just online with my piano covers, but also in real life...
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The thing is, the Holo Members or VTubers in general are also members of society who deliver value to the world through entertainment. Their services are so well accepted, and I believe they couldn’t have come at a better time when the whole world was bleak due to Covid, and their streams are valid reasons to stay home as well!
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Take a look at what other people have said about discovering Vtubers in general:
Their continuous delivery of value is something I relate to so much, that I am inspired to strive to deliver value to society.
I may not be as influential as any of them, though I really wished that I was, cuz it would ultimately allow me to reach my YouTube dream of achieving 100k subscribers and getting to own the YouTube Play Button Trophy…
That dream of getting the YouTube Play Button has been the driving force behind my continuous publishing of piano covers.
Even when I was struggling to hit my first 1k subs and felt like I wasn’t making any progress at all, there were times when visitors to my channel appreciated the sheets being made available and some video performed statistically better than other videos…
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Those were the encouraging moments that taught me that sub counts and view counts aren’t all there is to be considered “successful”, even though the platform does measure success with those metrics.
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And it was during those times that I wouldn’t look at my sub counts and view counts, and just kept on making piano videos and sheets…
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After all, anime music was the element that inspired me in many ways, and if I could share those inspiring moments of anime music covers, and if my piano videos or sheets ever bring a smile to anyone… I’d say that video has done its job.
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Cuz at the end of it, I was also doing what I had always enjoyed: playing Anime music.
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However, it is no easy means to achieve that dream.
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What I have to offer MUST be equivalent or MORE...
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I want to improve continuously in terms of my piano skills and delivery. And I want to prove to myself, despite not being a PRODIGY, despite being a normal member of society, I can still make it, and make a difference to my reality.
And more importantly, I want to:
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“Provide VALUE to society”.
Whatever it may be.
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In my day job, or doing piano sheets, or something else…
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Anything as long as there’s a way or form to help, enlighten or empower other souls.
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And honestly, a university degree doesn’t teach you anything about providing value. So don’t be complacent just because of a degree, and don’t get too attached to it.
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Mind you that a degree doesn’t mean much already these days. So it is extremely crucial that you are able to understand or discover yourself MORE and more each day, so that you’d get a chance to move in a direction in your life that will allow you to make a difference in today’s society by providing value.
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And that should ultimately be everyone’s goal: contribute to the world around you, and be the positive difference to those you meet.
However the choice will always be difficult. Obscure at most… and making a decision over another will never be any easier…
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But as Captain Levi once mentioned: "No one knows how it will turn out. So choose for yourself, whichever decision you will regret the least. "
So to end off a heck of planning, writing and rewriting over the course of nearly 4 months or more, I hope the stories I've shared here have provided you insights to another brother's journey, and can help you continue with yours.
Along the way you'll find more puzzling questions to answer, and we all need help and guidance to truly understand what is it that defines our PURPOSE.​
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I hope you’ll have mentors to help you find your path to significance, and answer the greatest question you can probably ask yourself…
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And as for you and I, maybe I’ll see you some time again in another post or story?
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If we do, I promise to make it as valuable as I can.
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- DrewyJin -
Providing value, one sheet at a time.
One step at a time. Nov 2020